The Birth of Cool

I was given the assignment to name my Top 10 Coolest Albums, and I immediately broke out into a cold sweat. I am not and have never been cool. I have accepted this and am quite comfortable in my nerdishness. I wear nerdy like a crown. I decided in order to complete this assignment properly, I at least needed to understand what being "cool" means.

Websters defines cool as:

slang

a :  very good :  excellent; also :  all right

b :  fashionable, hip <not happy with the new shoes … because they were not cool — Celestine Sibley>

Urban Dictionary defines cool as:

The best way to say something is neat-o, awesome, or swell. The phrase "cool" is very relaxed, never goes out of style, and people will never laugh at you for using it, very conveniant for people like me who don't care about what's "in."

Homestar is cool.
The Red Sox are cool.
Twinkies are cool.

Well that didn't help me at all. I thought about it for a long while, and determined that cool is primarily comprised of confidence with a little je nes sais quois thrown in. However, once the confidence transforms into arrogance, the cool factor evaporates. Cool is difficult for me because I am a person drawn to vulnerability like a moth to the proverbial sad-sack flame. Most of my favorite music is definitely not cool. It could make a circus carny cry. But I do think I have a few cool gems. So here goes (in no particular order)...

1. "Mermaid Avenue" by  Billy Bragg & Wilco - What's not to love about this 1998 album of previously unheard lyrics written by Woody Guthrie put to music by British activist singer Billy Bragg and the American alternative rock band Wilco?
2. "Blonde on Blonde" by Bob Dylan - Often ranked as one of the top albums of all time, Dylan is just so cool in this album with grandly scaled music and lyrics that are colloquial and visionary. "Visions of Johannah" is one of the coolest songs ever.
3. "The Grey Album" by Danger Mouse - This mashup album created in 2004 uses a capella versions of Jay Z's "The Black Album" and couples them with unauthorized instrumentals from The Beatles "The Beatles" (better known as "The White Album"). It is genius. And so very cool.
4. "Now You Know" by Doug Martsch - Built to Spill's frontman, Doug Martsch, released this solo album in 2002 (I got a bootlegged copy from a friend of his in 2001!). It is cool because he departs from his rock-oriented work to touch on blues and folk. Jangly goodness.
5. "The Reminder" by Feist - Leslie Feist is just cool and my girl crush. I had a hard time choosing an album. This one is her third full-length album and must be cool since so many songs were used in commercials. It also landed her on Sesame Street. What is cooler than singing with muppets?
6. "White People" by Handsome Boy Modeling School - This is a collaborative project between renowned hip hop producers Dan the Automator and Prince Paul. The collaboration lasted between 1999 and 2006 and resulted in two albums featuring a wide array of guest rappers, singers, comedians and DJ's. They were a conceptual hop hop duo that parodied and commented on the vanity, consumerism, materialism and self absorption of upper class society. Their second album, "White People" was released in 2004. Collaborators included Cat Power, Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand, Jack Johnson, Cedric Bixler-Zavala of The Mars Volta, Pharrell, and comedian Tim Meadows.
7. "American IV: The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash - In my world, no one is cooler than Johnny Cash. I chose the last album he made before his death. In 2002's "American IV," most of the songs are covers which Cash performs in his own spare style with help from producer Rick Rubin. "Hurt," a song written by Trent Reznor, is the most haunting song I have ever heard. Reznor said Cash's version of the song deeply moved him. It honestly makes me a little sick when I listen to it.
8. "Murmur" by REM - This is the debut album by REM, released in 1983. It drew critical acclaim for its sound, defined by singer Michael Stipe's cryptic lyrics, guitarist Peter Buck's jangly guitar style, and bassist Mike Mills' melodic basslines. It characterized the quieter more introverted side of the first wave of alternative rock in the U.S. Quiet and introverted has become quite cool lately. So I think this one hits the mark. And "Radio Free Europe" is such a great song.
9. "No Depression" by Uncle Tupelo - This is the first studio album from alternative country pioneers, Uncle Tupelo, and was released in 1990. It is considered to be one of the most important albums in this genre which is often misunderstood and underrated. This of course makes it uber-cool. (Thanks you guys for contributing to my coolness.)
10. "Peel Slowly and See" by The Velvet Underground - This is a five disc comprehensive retrospective of material performed by The Velvet Underground and released in 1995. It chronicles the band from its earliest demo tapes recorded in 1965 to Lou Reed's final work with the band in 1970. These people were hanging out with Andy Warhol and changing rock and roll forever. What could be cooler? It is said if you start listening to this band in your teens, you will be weird forever. That explains it all...

So this is what I consider to be cool. And now that I have spent so much time thinking about it, I must be the coolest person on our fair planet.